Well I happened to be on Facebook last night to check in on pictures of a friend and his new baby. While I was there I decided to look up some people from my past, possibly those that I needed to forgive.
I have good news. And good news.
Want the good news first?
My "forever crush" is on there....finally!!! This gives me hope that he is home from serving in the military and is just fine. The only bad news is there is no picture of him up there and no details for me to see. Okay I'm not 100% sure it is him, but he spelled his name a particular way and so that gives me some hope. No forgiveness need with Forever Crush. Just want to know he is alive and well and living his life.
Next, for some good news.
Another guy from my past is finally on there. Throw in some Fifty f*ckedupitedness and some Profward I'm-smart-but-have-a-f*Cked-up-history with the bravado of Mafiaward and a sprinkle of I-don't-see-myself-clearly original Edward and may I present this guy. Let's call him "James."
{He was only good looking if you like tall, lots of brown hair, broad, and smoky blue eyes. What can I say? Apparently I've always had this Rob Pattinson type thing going and just didn't know what to call it.}
And despite all that, I think he really wanted to be a better version of himself. He could get very down on himself. Only I was not the "Bella" that inspired him to deal with his past, give it all up, and become that better person...
OMG!! Is that why we like the stories we all seem to like in FanFiction and even in Twilight? We are all told, "you can't try and change a guy" but why do we like the stories of the bad boy who is just changed by love?
Even in Twilight, Edward changed the night he watched Bella sleeping in her room (detailed in Midnight Sun). Despite how he perceived himself as a monster and unworthy of love, it was an inexplicable change that overcame him based out of his new found love for Bella.
I guess I have grown up loving this recurring storyline:
Danny and Sandy in Grease
Johnny and Baby in Dirty Dancing
Dylan and Brenda on BH, 90210
Edward and Vivian in Pretty Woman
Definitely some of my favorites!
So getting back to "James." As I thought about what I had read in DangrDafne's post about forgiveness and reflected on those days, I realized that there was a part of him that he clearly needed to heal within himself whatever that was rooted in his family or childhood.
I truly hope he has been able to do so.
In all of the above mentioned stories, there is a part to the stories where forgiveness comes into play. Basically the guy ends up acting like a jerk and seeks forgiveness.
Danny dancing with Cha Cha Degregorio--Sandy forgave him.
Dylan cheated on Brenda with Kelly--Brenda forgave him.
Edward treated Vivian like a hooker--she forgave him.
Fifty inflicted real red room pain on Bella forcing her to leave, but she forgave him.
Profward stopped talking to Bella in order to save her reputation as a student and not have her expelled from the university. Even though she felt abandoned by him, she forgave him.
Mafiaward kept tons of secrets from Bella and was always flying off the handle, but she forgave him.
Edward left to protect Bella in New Moon, but she forgave him.
Yep, we like our forgiveness and second chances in our stories and real life too. Did they all deserve it?
As for "James"...well based on his Facebook picture, the years have not been kind to him. And his girlfriend in the picture...let's face it, resembles me. {I wish I was joking here!} I'm guessing at his age he has YET to find his "Bella" so how could I not forgive him?
Here's a great "Goodbye to You" video {for you James} to put you in a forgiving mood.
Video made by DefiningBeautyNet
Any of your other favorite couples that fit into this category?
Tell me in the comments.
Thanks DD for another inspiring post!!!
-kiTT
13 comments:
Happy to hear that your "forever crush" is hopefully safe and sound.
Sorry to hear that a former boyfriend hasn't aged well. Boy can I relate to that statement.
Don't forget to friend me on Facebook ;)
Great observation about the recurring storyline. I can't think of any couples to add to that list right now, but it's late. Remind me in a few hours to give it some thought, after you remind me to take my Ariceopt.
Very sweet video, too.
And, of course, any post that mentions Fifty gets my vote. *sigh*
-Viv
You forgot my favorite from pre-twilight days. Disney's Beauty & the Beast. He had her father locked up, kept her as a prisoner and still her love transformed him magically into a prince.
@Viv, I'm NOT sorry to hear he didn't age well! LOL
@TM, how did I forget Disney? Good call!
Don't get me started on all that Hollywood and Fiction writers have done to try and convince me that people can change through love.. that notion has been a pain in my a$$ for many many years.. and then I realized.. the love has to be a two way street.. it never matters how much you love a person... if they don't see the value and love in themselves then there will never be change ...
I think the common line in all these stories isn't that she rescues him.. but that there is a need in both of them that each fulfills in the other... it's always a two way street...
The entire Twilight series, things don't really work out until each of them realizes that they are deserving of that which they desire... that and when they scare the crap out of the Volturi with a "my crowd is bigger then you crowd" smack down.. with a side of "Check out what my wife can do" protection shield. But their relationship doesn't work until they both understand that they deserve to be happy and have that which they desire. Takes four long a$$ books (albeit guick reading)to get there, but they do.
Trips down memory lane with past loves can be interesting.. with each new lesson I learn in life.. I will take time to take stock and it's always amazing to me when big revelation will suddenly appear.. making things that should have seemed clear then, very clear now.
Yeah, love can change a person.. but with all of these people you mention.. it starts with loving yourself first.. once you can do that, the rest, honestly, just falls into place.
*steps down off soap box*
Kelly - I could not have said it better. Perfect sentiments!
Off course Kelly would say everything I wanted to say, but much, much better than I could ever say it.
Unfortunately in my life, I follow my heart. For some reason, I have always added a romantic flair to everything. It has led to nothing but heartbreak.
I think that's why Twilight has pulled me in as much as it has. There are so many pieces to it that I want to find in real life... The question is will I find it?
My forever crush still isn't married. I have theories about that. Maybe one day I'll talk about it.
Glad you found yours & that he is alive and well. Sorry the other one isn't ... well somewhere somehow the way you thought he should be.
I'm glad that your "Forever Crush" is back from serving in the military and alive and well. That's always good to know. I have a few special people from the past that I check up on every once in a while. It's just nice to know that they are happy and doing well.
I LOVE the couples you listed...all on my Favorite Movies of All Time list!
I like this trending relationship thing you bring up. It's interesting. Apparently, forgiveness is a strong emotion and something that draws us into a story line...as well as the bad boy being changed by love. I ALWAYS fall for the bad boy with the good heart. Always. It never fails. I think that's one of the reason why Edward appeals to me so much. He's dangerous and mysterious, but you know that he has a heart of gold. It's so damn sexy.
I really liked what DD had to say in her post about forgiveness. It was great and so spot on.
Tess♥
Great post TT!
Funny that you mention a past "ex" on facebook-I too, stumbled across mine and well, he was not a nice boyfriend when I was young and I'm happy to see years later, he's still single (and chubby). I'm not quite forgiving in this statement, but I am full of glee.
On to forgiveness. I'm going to throw my religion in there. It's what sets Christians (whatever church you go to) apart from others. It's also one of the hardest things to do. I have to say it's easier to hold a grudge or hate, then it is to love and forgive. So that's why I tend to be drawn into stories or movies where forgiveness was in order because the person has attempted change his/her ways. As for the happily ever after... you have to work at that. Sorry, I'm trying to keep my comment short without writing an essay. :)
And if the person looks like Rob Pattinson, forgiveness comes a little easier. Hehehe
I try to hold grudges,I really do. I just don't think it's in me. I like to make decisions with pure thoughts, which is hard to do when you're holding onto something.
I think you're right, forgiveness is key.
One day at a time is my motto.
Are we friends on FB yet??
Ah, yes, the bad boy gone good. Actually, I don't think it's like that at all, because all those boys are in fact essentially good, and want to be loved. They are just broken, and it's only natural that love would fix them.
I've thought about this long and hard during the course of my life, and realized that the sexual tension comes from the fact that he seems dangerous and is scary to everyone but the girl.
You see, I married my bad boy, that's why I know. I'm not exaggerating when I say that everyone at his college moved to let him pass in the hallway, because they were afraid of him. Still he looks very scary to people, but in fact, he's such a sweetheart who showers me with love and kisses.
He was broken when we met. I was broken when we met. We helped each other.
So, I guess Kelly is right - it IS a two way street.
p.s. I think I'll try not to be as absent from the blogs anymore. I've missed you.
Glad your forever crush is safe & sound.
Yea, I can hold a grudge- but as I’ve become older and wiser I see that it’s joyless and a waste of my personal resources.
Ex on FB… yea he’s there. Yes I forgave him along time ago, we were young. He’s aged incredibly well (personal trainer!), but it’s hilarious that his wife and I do favor one another…
i honestly can't think of another couple right now... i'll sleep on it.
It's easy for for these Bella's to forgive our favorite Edward's that were mentioned because the hurt they caused were the self-sacraficing kind. Each of the Edward's we love, bad boys or other wise, each truly love Bella and hurt her seemingly for her own benefit. Forgiveness is harder when the guy, fictional or real, does it for selfish reasons, thinking first about themselves and their own needs. Woman in general will forgive anything done with purity of heart, even when the pain involved is utterly devastating at the time.
It's RL, bad boys, with all their human flaws, that make forgiveness a hard pill to swallow, because usually, they don't have the warmth, protectiveness,don't and help us feel as if we are the most extraordinary person alive. Isn't that why we really love all these Edward's they make "ordinary Bella" feel so well loved she finally realizes how special she truly is? How do you not forgive THAT level of love, no matter how painful a situation your temporarily thrown into. RL, on the other hand, is most times not so kind, and then it's mostly with the passage of time and understanding that forgiveness is realized, and of course the only healthy thing to do for everyone involved, old lovers and ourselves...
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