Edward, You Weren't My First...

That's right! Edward you may have been Bella's first but not mine.

"How could that be when I've been around 60 some more years than you TT?"

{This is not a post about losing one's virginity. If you want to read about those in the fandom then you need to head to Twitarded. And girls if you wrote about it there, guess what I read all about it. I didn't write about mine, but I did have some first time similarities to Bella's. I was in love. I was on an island--not a hot, tropical one though. Just a little one you had to use a car ferry to get to. We're not talking a honeymoon destination, chickadees and it was long before I got married. Last time I checked, Isle Esme didn't have a church youth group camp.}

What I'm talking about is a fictional, rich boyfriend, and Edward this guy was my first.

I loved Alfonso's moves, but my heart belonged to Ricky.

But technically, it all started 

much earlier than him being a teenager.

Yes friends it goes thisssssssssssssssssss far back!

I wanted to kiss those freckles, ride that train around the house, and go do a "Dine and Ditch" on a date with him.

[side note: What do Ricky's dad and Bella's dad have in common?]

 

"And that's it? Sooo..you don't like that guy anymore? Or did you expect me to be jealous over him? I mean look at the guy. He's like Mike Newton overdosed on cotton candy."

Edward he was sweet and we were young. But then he went and married someone else young and went away for a lot of years. When I saw him again he was so different! Insisted on being called 'Rick' and using a fake New York accent.  

"Then we are still good TT."

Well, I mean there were others. Everyone has a past, right? [nervous chuckle] But there was really only one other than you that really meant something to me.

 "Who was he?"

He was just someone that was an important part of my life on and off for about ten years with the potential of him showing up again at any moment. I'm sorry to risk hurting you Edward, but you should know these things before we go any further. 

"Were you in love him TT?"

Yes. I mean I thought I was.

"Do you still love him? Do you want to be with him?"

NO!!!! I want you Edward.

"Then just tell me who it is and we'll deal with it. Wait it's not that dickkety dog Jacob is it?"

No!!! How could you even think that! You still just need to brace yourself.

"Oh God! There's only one thing this former fictional, rich boyfriend

of yours could have had that would piss me off and make me really jealous...he didn't...I mean... was his hair cooler than mine?"

[hangs head]

I'm sorry, Edward

And his forehead was kind of high like yours too Edward, which is a sign of intelligence.

"Uggh, that hurt me TT."

Who was your first?

And do you think Luke will return to 90210?

Thanks to Jeanette whose sense of humor always gets me skipping down 80s memory lane with a shootoff into the 90s. If you need a laugh you should definitely youtube Carlton dancing on "Fresh Prince."

If you haven't seen the latest Hillywood Eclipse parody I think you should allott yourself the 13 minutes and watch it because there is some serious making fun of the characters and, in my opinion, Rob and Kristen in it. Also, the Bella and Edward actors really nailed replicating the exact movements and facial expressions of particular scenes in the movie. The whole thing is funny.

PS: If you aren't following me on tumblr you are missing out on gems like this:

PRIVATE 'BOATING LESSONS' with ROB!!!

"Your turn to take the helm, babe." -Rob

And this...

Some people really get testy on planes.

http://www.tonguetwied.tumblr.com/