How To Get Rob to Touch You!!!

I've got it figured out now.

You're a fan, like me. You come into close proximity to Rob and you don't want to just have 2 seconds of screaming and jumping on him *ahem* we're IN PUBLIC HERE and then being pulled away by Dean. You're not sure what to say to him or how long you'll have to even talk to him but you just think, "God if I could just get this man to lay his hands on me somehow."  

Well I now have the perfect line to supply in such a situation, and it is all compliment of Rob's codependentco-star {and co-sumpthin'}Kristen. It obviously has worked for her so well that she continues to use it on Rob year after year, movie after movie, event after event.

Write this down.

After all, I'm sharing a trade secret here that I should just be reserving for myself, but I'm in a generous mood this month. Probably the holidays.

Ready?

Preface it according to the situation, and the line should end...

"Rob, don't let me fall."

"I'm scared of being so high up in this tree. Rob, don't let me fall."

[reaches out a reassuring hand]

"Don't worry. I won't." -Rob

"I think whatever is in this drink is going right to my head and I feel dizzy. Rob, don't let me fall."

[lightly places fingers on hip]

"Don't worry. I won't." -Rob

"It's just been such a long exhausting day and I can barely hold myself up any longer. Rob, don't let me fall."

[places hand around shoulder]

"Don't worry. I'll hold you up." -Rob

"Look at these heels? I'm so afraid if I take one step in them I am going to trip and fall flat on my face in front of all these people."

"Like what happened at the MTV Awards!" [laughs] -Rob

"Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. Just don't let me fall.'

[Hooks a finger around hers reassuringly.]

 "Don't worry. I'll keep you from a repeat performance." -Rob

Yes chickadees, it is that simple!!!

Rob is a caring person, and if presented to him the right way, that is, voicing a sudden fear of falling down in his presence, he would surely reach out and lend a steady hand to you, and you would get to experience his magical touch.

This kind of info is better than any 'beauty secret of the stars' as far as I'm concerned.

So remember, with each new picture that comes where the cameras aren't filming Edward and Bella but instead the the image captured is of Rob and Kristen, take a minute to study it and figure out what excuse Kristen used this time that you can 'borrow' for when you meet Rob and can find yourself asking him for a little support.

More possibilities that could be used:

"Wow, I inhaled too quickly with this cigarette and feel a little lightheaded. Rob, don't let me fall."

"Just had some ice cream. Brainfreeze. Rob, don't let me fall."

"Whoa caffine rush! I had like 5 cups of coffee this morning! Rob, don't let me fall."

"I just listened to another angry voicemail from my ex-boyfriend. I feel so weak. Rob, don't let me fall."

"Feeling faint, because I think I just spontaneously conceived our baby, Rob. Don't let me fall."

Think you'll never have your chance to use one of Kristen's lines?

You gotta have faith

"I know all the games you play, because I play them too."

that one day Rob will Lay His Hands on you...

 

[Picture of Rob and Kristen at top of waterfall in Brazil. Her hand on his shoulder and she's pointing his attention off in the distance.]

"See over there! It's the stalker guy I keep telling you I have. I'm feeling so exposed and vulnerable that I think I might lose consciousness. Rob, don't let me fall and drown in the water below."

"What are you talking about? That's just Tom! I'm starting to think you'll use any excuse to try to butter my biscuit! But don't worry, I won't let you fall."

Oh that Kristen is a sly one!! I'll bet she never even uses the same 'excuse' twice. I'll be watching for more pictures and taking notes for more possible reasons.

So what excuse will you use on Rob? Share them in the comments!