To commemorate the birthday of RPFangirlJR, a very special wing will be available today for viewings in the Museum of FanGirl Art!!
If you'll just wait here Fangirl in this luxurious lobby,
your tour guide should be along shortly. Admission is free today due to this holiday so anyone else who has found their way here today, feel free to tag along on this tour.
"I'm here. I'm here. *mumbles with accent hate that bloody boss*
"Uhhh, yeah, I forgot my uniform. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, Happy Birthday, RPFangirl. I'm Art.
No, really that's my name and I work at a Fangirl Museum. I know, it's rather pathetic, isn't it? Well, I have this life coach named Jeanette, and she told me I should get a job. She said I'm really good at talking so she thought this would be a good fit. I dunno. You see I have this music thing, but it's not going so well. Oh hey, I have a gig on Tuesday if you want to come. It's on Tuesday...Tuesday, if you can make it. Uhhh, normally no one really shows, but you know if you want you can come. Yeah, okay.
So, let's get started. You're really quite lucky, actually. They only open this wing of the museum up on very special occasions and for real VIP types. So before we leave this room, I'm supposed to point out the painting on the wall. Self portrait of the big shot who funded this wing...Rob something or another. I get the distinct pleasure of calling him my boss. Not that I ever see the guy. He spends his days in his penthouse being painted into paintings. Must be nice.
"So you'll probably recognize this one. Why anyone wants to celebrate how rainy London is, is beyond me. It's depressing enough. Oh, and by the way, that's that Rob guy in there. He's easily missed in this one so I'm required to point him out. Second umbrella from the left."
"Okay next up, a gar-dun party."
"And what do you know, look who's there. This guy
is unbelievable! I suppose you like it though. All the serious fangirls do--the thought of this guy dressed up for a garden party eating his grapes, cheese, and gar-dun burgers. This one is called Fangirls at the Garden Party. Notice the lady in the yellow hat staring at him? Oh yeah, that's supposed to be a metador...no wait a metaphor for you. Gazing at him from afar.
*mumbles arrogant sod under his breath"
"You might recognize this, it's The Persistence of Rob in Your Memories. According to fangirls, he's just there swirling around in your thoughts morning, noon, and night--especially if you've seen him in person.
"Ahh, now this is my favorite. The Screaming Rob! I mean it should just be a little more bloody acceptable and politically correct in life to just go out and scream once and a while, show a little frustration. Not that I believe Mr. Charmed Life ever gets frustrated over much."
"I don't even know what to say about this one. The guy has a bit of a G-d complex I think and it's like he just had to enter the chiseled arm competition. Let's keep moving on, shall we?"
"Oh here we go. Finally, one that's not him."
*Art pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket. *
"I see, according to the notes, this one was brought in special just for your birthday. It says it is called
"I like this one. If I was that lady I'd sleep with one eye open."
"And, we are coming to the end of the room. The big fangirl finale of sorts. And this one is called 'Old Timer.'"
*laughs himself silly*
"No actually, this is called 'Timeless Rob' so make of that what you will. And so that is it and concludes our birthday tour!
No wait, Fangirl, don't open that door!! Noooooooo, it's...well I'm not sure if you are supposed to see what's in there. Bloody hell I haven't even been in that room yet. Come back. That's the newest LostImmortal exhibit but it's strictly by invite only!"
"Oh, I see you have a ticket from the exhibit patron. She has quite an extensive collection and has loaned the museum a few portraits from it. Okay, well it's your birthday so get on with it and take a look."
*pulls out notes*
"Yes I believe I have some info on this."
Number 1. Exhibit will be only black/white portraits.
Number 2. Photos based on J/E Fanfiction
*looks up from notes and scratches head*
"J/E Fanfiction, what the hell is that?"
Number 3. Artist is LostImmortal and the exhibit is sponsored by the affluent socialite @17ForeverLisa.
"Wait a minute, isn't that the Keep Awake guy?"
"Guess they are buddies. Maybe in a band together or something."
"Ohhhh, okay. So are they brothers? They look like they crack on each other a lot."
"Wait...wait a minute, that doesn't look like brothers!"
"Uhhhh, I don't really know what to say..."
(At this time RPFangirl takes a moment to explain to poor naive Art exactly what this exhibit is about.)
"Really? No, really? Well okay then, I think we'll just get back on track wit the rest of the scheduled tour."
*Art makes a mental note to himself to check out J/E Fanfiction and wonders if there is any 'Art' Fanfiction as he escorts Fangirl out and closes the door behind him.*
"Okay so we are just going to continue heading down the hall back toward the lobby."
*looks over notes again*
"Oh, and so I'm just supposed to read this to you.
We hope you enjoyed your trip through the
special wing of the Museum of Fangirl Art.
blah, blah, blah, blah-blah, blah, blah
On behalf of the entire staff at the museum, I
wish you a very Happy Birthday.
As you exit the Fangirl Wing and return to the lobby,
to escort you to the next wing of the museum.
*mumbles oh f*ck to himself*
*Art calls out after Donna, who has already bolted out the door with Rob.*
Goodbye Donna! Don't forget about my show...on Tuesday."